If I were a Girl

Relationships (particularly the ones that provide a unitary emotional platform for opposite genders) have always been a phenomenon – sometimes marvellous and most times baffling.

I casually queried Rita (not her real name) a colleague, why she chose Beyoncé Knowles “If I Were a Boy” (from the “I am…Sasha Fierce” 2008 album) as her mobile phone ringtone.

She giggled and asked “Have you watched the video? You guys seem to have all the fun at the expense of the girl’s feeling.” Suddenly, her disposition changed.

“How do you mean?” I questioned.

“You won’t understand.” she replied obviously trying to hold back some emotions.

Then I knew we had a serious issue at hand. I often don’t attempt to dabble into private issues particularly one that borders round matters of the heart. However, seeing Rita snivelling probably made me probe her for more information. Although initially reluctant, she poured out a very interesting, touching (nonetheless, not unusual) story – one of infidelity, perfidy and misadventure.

Unfortunately, I’m not at liberty to divulge the contents of our discourse; however, certain mind-boggling questions about a man-woman relationship once again, came to the fore. I’m aware this is a sensitive and complex matter but there are clarifications to be made particularly from the men-studded side of the divide:

Why is it that ladies endure making a relationship work while most men would enjoy the pleasure of experimenting?

Why would women love whole-souled while their male counterparts will skirt the edges of marital allegiance?

What is that beguiling thing about “the other woman” that makes a man want to leave the quilt and solace of a committed heart in an adventurous search at the expense of betraying an unyielding love and breaking a heart full of warmth and affection? What is alluring about the gaze of her eyes, the soft touch of her fingers, the lusciousness of her lips or the warmth of her bed?

You’d call me a “woman wrapper” or an ardent woman flag-waver but it doesn’t change the fact of the obvious within our society: More men are wont to (or often succumb to the temptation of) “trying out” other seemingly “greener pastures” on the plains of promiscuity (Ladies, can I get a witness?). Why? Answers any one?

As for many of us that are fortunate to enjoy relationships/marital unions with little or no infidelity hiccups, congrats! Let’s keep on waving the commitment banner but lend credible, real advice to the troubled soul.

I’ve adapted Beyoncé Knowles’ and titled mine, “If I Were a Girl” (Pardon my clumsiness - I'm not a musician or lyricist). This is dedicated to all ladies out there who’re doing all to make their relationships work. You’re not just girls. Just hold on – he’s coming back home!

Beyoncé’s

[Verse]
If I were a boy

Even just for a day

I’d roll outta bed in the morning

And throw on what I wanted then go

Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted

And I’d never get confronted for it

Cause they’d stick up for me

[Chorus]

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I’d be a better man

I’d listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

Cause he’s taken you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

[Verse]

If I were a boy

I would turn off my phone

Tell everyone it’s broken

So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone

I’d put myself first I’d gladly be a wuss

And make the rules as I go

Cause I know that she’d be faithful

Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

[Chorus]

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I’d be a better man

I’d listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)

Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)

And everything you had got destroyed

[Bridge]

It’s a little too late for you to come back

Say its just a mistake

Think I’d forgive you like that

If you thought I would wait for you

You thought wrong

Mine

[Verse]
If I were a girl
Even just for a while
I’d stay in the bathroom all day
Doin’ all my facials and ‘cures
Shoppin’ with the girls
Enticing the guys
But surely I ain’t gonna do those
‘Cause he will come and lose to blows
And I want him for keeps

[Chorus]
If I were a girl
I’d never cease to wonder
Why I always love whole-souled
It’s difficult to be a girl
‘Guess I’d talk less
Cause tatty words pester him
And I don’t wanna lose my love
Even if I’m taken for granted
‘Cause I don’t want everything destroyed

[Verse]
If I were a girl
I’d keep a tab on him
Askin’ all for his location
‘Cause I know he ain’t in no biz meeting
I’d gladly be a wuss
Letting his excessive whims
‘Cause I know that I’d be faithful
Waitin’ for him to come home (to come home)

[Chorus]
If I were a girl
I’d never cease to wonder
Why I always love whole-souled
It’s difficult to be a girl
‘Guess I’d talk less
Cause tatty words pester him
And I don’t wanna lose my love
Even if I’m taken for granted
‘Cause I don’t want everything destroyed

[Bridge]
Yeah right now I wanna come back to you
I’ve realised my mistake
I know it ain’t easy to forgive
I’ve been keeping you waiting
Please forgive